14-11

14. The Child
This is the second Dardenne brothers film on the list, the other one - The Son - is way down at number 89. Both films share ambiguous titles: who is The Son (hint: it's probably not the actual son), and who is The Child (hint: it's probably not the actual child.) In fact, they're not even ambiguous now that I come to think about it. The Child in question is clearly Bruno, the lousy bum who sells his nine-day old baby behind his girlfriend's back. Ah, so now you're probably thinking that I've put another relentlessly grim film on the list? Well, maybe not. It's an improvement on The Son inasmuch as things actually happen, like car chases and stuff. And there's a disarming honesty and generosity to Bruno's scumbaggery too - check out the way he warms up the boys feet after he's helped him out of the river for instance. But then again, at least The Son had a fairly redemptive ending, and it was Bruno who forced the boy into the river in the first place. Hmm, yes, I suppose it is rather grim actually.


13. The Orphanage
Spooky chills and thrills. I can exclusively reveal that this is the top horror film on the list, but is it really a horror film? Well, yes, probably; it is scary after all. But then again there's enough ambiguity to suggest that the ghosts aren't even real, and they're certainly not malicious. I suppose it's more of a mystery movie, featuring a cleverly revealed plot, some creepy atmospherics, a poignant mother and son love story, some gasp inducing frights, and an old woman with her jaw ripped off.


12. Mullholland Dr.
Well. What can you say about Mulholland Dr. that hasn't already been said. Probably not much, so I don't think I'll even try. Bye. Only kidding folks, I'm still with you. The great thing about this film is that it combines Lynch's traditional weirdness (always enjoyable, always good-looking, often pretty fucking funny too) and a story that actually makes sense. And it does make sense, clearly and unambiguously. Ok, the first time I saw it I thought of it as typical Lynchian mind-fuckery that I would never get to the bottom of. But after I thought about it (or, perhaps, had someone explain it to me) I realised that at heart it's a clever, ingeniously told fable. As an aside, Naomi Watts performance in this film has been universally salivated over, but I really don't think it's anything earth-shaking. She's very good (and, uh, fairly attractive) but it doesn't seem to me that she's doing anything particularly difficult, especially in the first half of the film where she mostly just smiles a lot and acts goofy. Ach, what do I know.


11. Best in Show
"Number 11?" I hear you cry. "For a piece of fluff as inconsequential as this?" I hear you wail. "Are you out of your tiny mind?" right, ok ok, you've made your point. Inconsequential it may be, but it's also brilliantly funny. And do you know how hard it is to be funny? Take it from an expert, it's tough. Spinal Tap goes dog show, that's the order of the day here. Like Spinal Tap, you can't really call it a satire, the characters are too silly for this to actually mean anything. But that's ok, it's ok to simply entertain when you entertain as well as this. I especially like the warm-heartedness of the film. It exists to make fun out of these guys, but it just can't stop itself showing affection to these oddball losers. Then again, how could you not love Harlan Pepper and Buck Laughlin. It even gets quite exciting when the final judging takes place at the end. And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.